Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Saving A Marriage: Is yours Worth It?

Do you want to save your marriage
You may have been trying for a long time to keep a marriage together and are now wondering if it’s worth the effort you have to expend. Sometimes you may be so tired of the struggle that you don’t think you can possibly continue.

Then you get a little bit of encouragement from something your spouse does and you’re ready to try again.
You may have gone to marriage counseling to deal with the issues that caused problems for you and your spouse. You thought these had been resolved only to have them arise again. As the struggles continue there are some things you should consider to help you determine in saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth it.

If you are thinking about a separation or divorce look at the situation as honestly as you possibly can. If possible, get some serious marriage advice. Saving a marriage is an important thing to try to accomplish and requires a lot of work. You will be the only one who in the end will know if it’s worth the work to you.

Some things to consider when deciding if your marriage is worth saving:

1-If you were to make a list of the people you most enjoy spending time with, would your spouse be on it? Is it possible for just the two of you to have fun together? Are you content just to spend time with your spouse? In a good marriage the couple enjoys being together and is content with just being with each other.

2-Do you feel like your spouse understands you? Do you really listen when your spouse is talking? Does your spouse really listen when you talk?

3-Does your spouse offer comfort when you need it? Do you offer your spouse comfort? Or, if there is something unpleasant going on do you each go to someone else to make you feel better? In a good marriage each person knows the spouse is the one to turn to when things are not going well. If either is looking elsewhere there may be a serious problem.

4. Are there any questions regarding faithfulness or infidelity that need to be addressed? Can each trust the other? These are serious issues and if they are present in your marriage then you need some serious help.

All relationships are complex and are unique to the people involved. Your marriage has a lot of similarities to others, but some things are unique to you and your spouse. If you want to save your marriage and your spouse is on the same page, you can do it. There will be work on both of your parts, but with commitment to each other and the desire to stay together you will succeed.


In saving a relationship, there are many other things to consider and a decision like this should not be taken lightly. Ask hard questions and search hard for answers and then you may be able to find if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth it.

Try this Saving a marriage

Can You Get Your Spouse To Agree To Marriage Counseling

Get answers here
All relationships are hard to maintain and marriage is about the hardest. To some this may seem shocking,but when you think about it you and your spouse deal with each other in ways no one else does. To use an old saying, you see each other “warts and all.” Sometimes it seems as if the warts are more common that the pleasantries.



Apparently, since you are reading this article you are still willing to accept your spouse, warts and all, and try to save your relationship through counseling.


For many, seeking relationship counseling is the last resort before divorce. But some couples try counseling when the first problems appear. No one should be afraid of seeking help, even of the problems seem to be minor ones. If small issues are dealt with early on, then counseling can prevent bigger ones later on.


Young couples today seem eager to try new things in a relationship and this often makes them willing to seek counseling. This is a drastic change from just a few years ago when couples were reluctant to seek help for problems in marriage. We often see couples who have been married for 30 or 40 years divorcing, which is a shame because they will never know if relationship counseling could have helped them save the marriage.


Ask your spouse in a non-judgmental way to go to counseling with you. If you ask in such a way that makes them feel you are accusing them of being the problem in the marriage, I can almost guarantee you are going to get extreme resistance if not absolute refusal to the request. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself and that your spouse would be able to offer input and insight to the issues.


Whatever you do, don’t in any way make it seem that your spouse is the one who needs counseling. Asking him or her to go because you have issues you need help with will make them much more likely to view the idea favorably. Just say that you want to be able to contribute more to the relationship and learn how to be a better spouse. Once you are in counseling you will both learn tips and techniques that will lead to a better marriage.


If your marriage is in trouble it’s never too early or too late to try to resolve problems through counseling. Suggesting counseling may make your spouse feel you think the marriage is doomed to failure. You have to be sure to reassure them that this isn’t the case. Be calm when you are letting them know how much you value the marriage and how you are willing to do whatever it takes to keep it together. Emphasize how important you think it is for each of you to be happy.


With your best efforts you still may not be able to convince your spouse to go to counseling with you. If that happens, then you should go on your own. Yes, marriage counseling works best if the couple goes together, but you can benefit from going and working on things you need to do to improve yourself. When your spouse sees your changes, then they may be more receptive to the idea of going.
Marriage counseling can work and it will work best if you and your spouse go togetherGet answers here

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Can You Revive Your Marriage - CPR For Marriage In Crisis

Stop the divorce
We are all familiar with the need for CPR (cardio pulmonary resuscitation) when our bodies are in a crisis mode, but have you ever thought about CPR for a marriage in crisis? Remember the feeling when you were first married? Everything was new and fresh; you probably felt as if that honeymoon feeling would last forever.
Then the daily grind starts getting to you and everything in the relationship seems to be a struggle. Too often, what begins in a couple’s life as the most wonderful thing that could possibly happen takes a downturn and seems to be on the brink of disintegrating. Dealing with a marriage when things are going bad is very difficult. If your marriage is at this stage and you don’t want it to end in divorce court, getting CPR will help you.
C is for Counseling- For a marriage in crisis getting marriage counseling is crucial. Counseling will help you not only in finding a resolution to your conflicts, but will help you and your spouse find ways to grow closer to each other and be better able to understand each other.
Marriage counseling will also help each of you find ways to express yourselves in ways that don’t seem to be attacking each other. You may learn early in counseling that one or both of you have issues that put your relationship in jeopardy. If this is the case, you will need to get therapy separately. Sometimes this is a bitter pill to swallow but putting your pride aside is a small price to pay if you want to save your marriage.
P is for Perspective- For a marriage in crisis getting a different viewpoint for what is happening is very helpful. A marriage counselor is valuable here because he/she is able to help you look at issues and situations from a different perspective.
From your viewpoint things may look very clear. But once you look at them from another angle they may not be as black and white. You will start understanding where your spouse is coming from and why your marriage is in crisis.
R is for Resolve- It doesn’t matter how much counseling you receive if you aren’t committed to using the information you have learned, your marriage will still be in crisis. The only way the damage that has occurred in your marriage will be repaired is if you act on that knowledge. No relationship is going to be without conflict. You just have to be committed to not let the conflict escalate to the point that the marriage is destroyed.
With the insight you gained in counseling, the willingness to look at the situation from a different perspective and the resolve to make things better, you can save your marriage. Just as CPR has to be administered to one whose body is in distress before it helps the person, CPR for a marriage also has to be used.
Before heading for the lawyer’s office get marriage CPR (Counseling, Perspective, Resolve). For more…